Monday, 20 February 2012
Well, I felt I had to put it -somewhere-
I had a dream last night, that I was sitting in the most out of place room I could find desperately hoping that no-one would find me or think to try, with a sensation of fear and panic in me convinced anything could go wrong at a moments notice and certain beyond all reason that I was in danger. I remember that I just wanted to get on and finish reading a book, but I couldn't for fear of my life. I woke up still feeling that sensation and feeling so horrible, so scared that I wanted to cry. It was very shortly afterwards I realised it was because I hadn't felt that since I left Stoke, where I felt it so constantly I had gotten used to it.
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I can't fathom if this is:
ReplyDelete"Phew, thank God I got out of THAT bear trap."
or
"Shit, things are getting shit, just like they used to be shit. Shit."
It's neither.
DeleteMay I ask why you felt you needed to write about it? It surely means something to you if you consider it neccessary immortalise it?
DeleteI'm pretty sure most of your own blog isn't about immortality and more just thinking aloud, or putting things to paper. Catharsis, like you say, without burdening directly.
DeleteAs for why I felt I needed to put it somewhere, I didn't want to forget it, or the day in which I felt it. Which is what these online journals are for, or at least how they came about.
But you're right. None of this really need immortalising, so i'll probably delete the blog later.
DeleteFair enough. I only question because you post nothing for a year and then the next thing you do is something that directly relates to me. I didn't know you still read my blog. It is fun. Happy blogging!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I like to know what you're up to and how you are. I'd read your tweets but you're far too prolific for me to keep up :P I don't know how you do that, I suppose it's a lot easier with phones.
Delete